My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
