i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
