Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
