is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
