I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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