And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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