I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
