butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
