dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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