OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
