Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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