we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
