The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
