"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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