so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
