Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it's great music for shaving your balls
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
