Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
