How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
