I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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