it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
