Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
