and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
