Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
