I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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