porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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