I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
