Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
