Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
