Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
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