Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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