I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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