They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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