Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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