So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
