why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
