Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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