After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I deserve this hangover.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
