Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
