ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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