are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Less talking, more tequila
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
