I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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