I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
