she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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