he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
