in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
