scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Terrible idea I love it
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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