This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
