Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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