Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
