Your face is a jimmy john
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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