I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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